Today’s summary is by Steve B., proving a Temple education is a fine education.
Nineteen is not a jokester
Carter owes me soap
There’s your damn haiku, boys. Last night, the Rams ripped roaring (alliteration: thank you, thank you) out of the dressing room in search of the two points that would put them back in the playoff picture. While they won, many speculated later that they wasted their most intimidating warm-up of the season on a six-guy bench. Vainly, the Continentals spent the majority of their warm-up stretching and preparing the defibrillator. Though no Continental was seen using said defibrillator, several Rams reported that #19 seemed to be hyperventilating for most of the evening. With devastating precision, the Purple Machine rolled on to tally six on the board while feared New Jersey street-rat Kevin Dowell recorded his first shutout of the season; later, #19 challenged the legitimacy of Dowell’s shutout saying, “Aaaarrrggghhh! I should have had that one!” While everyone off the Rams bench made notable contributions, analysts later agreed that Bake Leonards stole the show, making 2+ passes in the offensive zone and taking out a referee that is reported to sustain an injury in nearly every game over which he presides (a rare case when Bake’s Messier-esque vision and awareness on the ice failed him). On a more somber note, or should I say sober (hey-o! #19 could learn a lot from me), the Rams management neglected to inform the arena that their team is a two-case team, as the zam-jockey put an early end to the Rams victory celebration (the Rams’ gesture of a cold one did not phase Moral Orel’s conviction). No doubt, someone in the Rams’ management lost their job over that one; maybe the Continentals will pick him up. Anyway, the Rams seem to be getting hungry as the playoffs approach. And, unfortunately for a couple of unmentioned opponents, Rams love to eat formally-dressed arctic birds that can’t fly and nutritionally-sensible baked wheat snacks. Until next game, farewell comrades.