As told by Mr. T Sprinkles
Executing a near win with seconds to go in the third, the Rams unleashed their four-legged fury on the flightless Penguins. The Red Rocket, fueled only by beef and wine slapped in two while Mr. T. Sprinkles managed to extend his scoring streak to two games by tallying a deuce. Rookie Garrulous Instigator finished one and strong man Bake Leonards rammed the innocent puck with a ravenous thrusting motion, aggressively sliding it into the tight white net, tying the game at 6-6 with only seconds to go.
The Penguins tallied several sloppy goals but justified their effort by maintaining the tie late in the third.
Asked where this new spirit came from, senior correspondent Justin Time referenced the magical powers cast upon the team, stating, â€œTheir leader, Dean the Gnome, manifested his magical abilities and cast a fun spell upon his teammatesâ€, he went on, â€œThis, I believe, is the answer to the teams successâ€.
Team spokesman Angry Burns simply suggested that the magical powers were a fluke, but pointed out the effectiveness of wearing a fanny pack on oneâ€™s waist.
Burns explained, â€œIf you donâ€™t have your fanny pack, what are you going to nibble onâ€.
A source close to the team states that while Burns does wear a fanny pack before, during, and after the game, it does not interfere with his range of motion. The fanny pack allows Burns to store a cache of bacon, his keys and shower supplies, as well as a few rolls of tape close by in the event of an emergency.
â€œYou can rest assured knowing that this fanny pack serves its purpose, â€œstated Burns.
Some dissenters suggest that the placement of the fanny pack does affect Burns range of motion and this is what causes him to miss the net so often.
Whether youâ€™re a believer or a skeptic, a wearer or a non-wearer, it appears the Rams have once again sharpened their horns. Regarding the teams continued success, Dean the Gnome was not able to summon his powers of clairvoyance, but forward Mr. T. Sprinkles guaranteed that, â€œLabatt and Molson can be certain it will involve our continued support and Thor falling off of and rendering useless Bigheadâ€™s barstoolsâ€.
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