…And The Rams Raged On

As told by Mr. T Sprinkles
Executing a near win with seconds to go in the third, the Rams unleashed their four-legged fury on the flightless Penguins. The Red Rocket, fueled only by beef and wine slapped in two while Mr. T. Sprinkles managed to extend his scoring streak to two games by tallying a deuce. Rookie Garrulous Instigator finished one and strong man Bake Leonards rammed the innocent puck with a ravenous thrusting motion, aggressively sliding it into the tight white net, tying the game at 6-6 with only seconds to go.
The Penguins tallied several sloppy goals but justified their effort by maintaining the tie late in the third.
Asked where this new spirit came from, senior correspondent Justin Time referenced the magical powers cast upon the team, stating, “Their leader, Dean the Gnome, manifested his magical abilities and cast a fun spell upon his teammates”, he went on, “This, I believe, is the answer to the teams success”.
Team spokesman Angry Burns simply suggested that the magical powers were a fluke, but pointed out the effectiveness of wearing a fanny pack on one’s waist.
Burns explained, “If you don’t have your fanny pack, what are you going to nibble on”.
A source close to the team states that while Burns does wear a fanny pack before, during, and after the game, it does not interfere with his range of motion. The fanny pack allows Burns to store a cache of bacon, his keys and shower supplies, as well as a few rolls of tape close by in the event of an emergency.
“You can rest assured knowing that this fanny pack serves its purpose, “stated Burns.
Some dissenters suggest that the placement of the fanny pack does affect Burns range of motion and this is what causes him to miss the net so often.
Whether you’re a believer or a skeptic, a wearer or a non-wearer, it appears the Rams have once again sharpened their horns. Regarding the teams continued success, Dean the Gnome was not able to summon his powers of clairvoyance, but forward Mr. T. Sprinkles guaranteed that, “Labatt and Molson can be certain it will involve our continued support and Thor falling off of and rendering useless Bighead’s barstools”.

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10 Responses to …And The Rams Raged On

  1. dk says:

    fun game guys … let’s roll it to a playoff series.

  2. RR says:

    Arty murdered that poor bar stool

  3. Anonymous says:

    horrible write up.

  4. bert says:

    hilarious!

  5. KevMc says:

    Fellas, that was a crazy game. Good stuff.

  6. poll guy says:

    which was better? Rock’s trip over the redline with a clear-cut breakaway to win the game, or Artie’s Stool Break at Big Heads?

  7. Dr. Bumba says:

    Any pictures of the poor bar stool?

  8. Thor says:

    Never got me down Stool, never got me down.
    I don’t believe any pictures of the rickety unsafe stool were taken.

  9. stool lover says:

    Aw, poor stool 🙁

Comments are closed.