Lange Has Left the Building

Lange let go as Pens’ play-by play man

Mike Lange, longtime voice of the Pittsburgh Penguins, has been let go after 30 years of working as the team’s play-by-play announcer.

Here are some of his coloful quotes:


– “I’ll be cow-kicked!”
– “Oh no, Eddie Spaghetti!”
– “Heeeeeeeeeeeee shoots and scores!”
– “Scratch my back with a hacksaw!”
– “Well shave my face with a rusty razor!”
– “Great balls of fire!”
– “He was hit so hard his kids will be born dizzy”
– “He left the defensemen on the parkway going to the airport!”
– “You would have to be here to believe it!”
– “Look out Loretta!”
– “Buy Sam a drink and get his dog one too!”
– “He doesn’t know whether to cry or wind his watch”
– “Michael, Michael, Motorcycle”
– “Get in the fast lane Grandma, the bingo game’s ready to roll!”
– “She wants to sell my monkey!”
– “Call Arnold Slick from Turtle Creek!”
– “He beat him like a rented mule!”
– “Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building!”
– “Book ’em Dano!”
– “He Picked His Pocket Like He was Walking down 5th Avenue”
– “Smilin’ like a butcher’s dog”
– “He takes the heat out of a hot kitchen”
– “How much fried chicken can you eat?”
– “Oh slap me silly Sidney!”
– “Get that dog off my lawn!”
– “And the kitchen is closed!”
– “He smoked him like a bad cigar!”

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12 Responses to Lange Has Left the Building

  1. Jonathan Buehler says:

    He was the worst announcer ever. soooooo corny.
    EXAMPLES:
    “…and he had more patience than mercy hospital” [decidedly not funny]
    “…scratch my back with a hacksaw!” [what?]
    “…oh, Eddie Spaghetti!” [note: player who scored was invariably not named Eddie]
    “…and he is grinning like a butchers dog!” [again, not funny or interesting]
    “…get that dog off of my yard!” [again, what?]
    “…and he put that one way up high where mom keeps the cookie jar” [just stupid]
    It was funny though, listening to him say the above lines again and agian throughout the year thanks to the NHL’s highlight reel video. He actually had a big enough ego that he thought that he was inventive, and cool, and funny, and that people like me didn’t hate him, his voice, and his stupid, scripted, retardedly lame “catch-phrases”. Anyone who likes him is either gay or has a mustache; or both.

  2. dk says:

    not gay. no stache. and to defend Mike, i’m boarding you every chance i get till elvis leaves the building or until i finally get a hold of arnold slick from turtle crick.

  3. Jon B says:

    boarding is gay. and my dad has a mustache. there is a connection there somewhere.

  4. RR says:

    JB, come on, really. Lange was so much better than your gay ass-lovers Coates and Dorny. They aren’t even in the same league.
    So shave my back and slap my sister, Lange ruled!!!!

  5. Angry Jon says:

    I can’t stand it when people think they are funny or clever and they are not at all. Its kind of like Larry the Cable Guy…. If you think that he is funny, then you really have a very under-developed sense of humor. My point is proven by the fact that Larry (or in this case Mike Lange) thinks he himself is funny and therefore anyone who is entertained by him is being humored by someone who has an underdeveloped sense of humor. Doesn’t make sense to me! For the record, Caotes is corny too. Also, for the record, when you resort to pulling someone else down in order to defend someone, you have run out of arguments. Hate……..

  6. RR says:

    “Also, for the record, when you resort to pulling someone else down in order to defend someone, you have run out of arguments.”
    -followed by-
    “I can’t stand it when people think they are funny or clever and they are not at all. Its kind of like Larry the Cable Guy…. ”
    That is gold! You need to write more often. We need the corner back. Also remember, ESPN ripped Lange off, and they are doing pretty well.

  7. JB says:

    The difference was I wasn’t defending anyone, I was ripping everyone (i.e. Larry and Mike Lange), comparing two negative examples to better illustrate my point. Now, if I was defending Steve Coates by ranting about how Mike Lang is so much worse, then you would be correct. But I wasn’t, so you are off base. Read more carefully RR! I hate ESPN and now that I know that they ripped off Lange, I hate him even more. Good move penguins. Just describe the highlights please.
    I only have enough time to do this stuff in the summer it seems. I guess it is everyone elses loss.

  8. JB says:

    Also Crosby is better than Ovechkin. And Crosby thinks that Lange Sucks too.

  9. Dr. Bumba says:

    I miss Hoagie’s Corner.

  10. Dinero in Copland says:

    hoagie had a chance, “YOU BLEW IT!”

  11. RR says:

    At least you got one thing right HB; ESPN does blow. If you lived in the burg for a year or two, you would appreciate Lange. Even though you don’t like his catch phrases, he actually really knew the game. His knowledge was overshadowed by his catch phrases, but in a highlight world, that is all you get.
    He also didn’t miss a game in over 20 years. I personally would rather listen students of communication speak, rather than the new ex-jock color men who add nothing. PJ STOCK!

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