Rams Beat Bandits

Glenside — Long known for their innovative tactics in team marketing, Rams brass this week unveiled a new strategy for play in the 4th period. The crux of the effort, said a somewhat bewildered league president P. Croce, is coming into the locker room with a win under their hip-padded belts.
“It’s remarkable, this new strategy, because the Rams have never had a problem in the fourth period,” said Croce added. “I mean, why change a good thing?”
Win or lose, there have been plenty of times that rink staff has had to ask the Rams to leave. There have also been times when the mighty mights had to get their daddies to say there is another game to fellas. So why the change?
“Any time you can spank a Bandita, or ram it to a Zebra, it makes the beer taste better,” said Rams’ leading goal scorer and Philadelphia Rams 1,000th comment contest winner, Chris. “I can’t wait to taste one after we go baby penguin clubbing.”
Executives at Big Heads, Ram official bar sponsor, also said that he was happy to see that the Rams 4th period is as important as the first 3. “It’s good to see these guys taking the whole night so seriously.”
Last night, the Rams put the philosophy to test with a 4-2 win over a disjointed Bandits team.
Things started ominously for the Rams as Kevin Dowell arrived late, thinking the game was a 10:40 start. It didn’t help that one of the first shots he faced beat him under his pad. Luckily a lost contact gave Kevin and the Rams a chance to regroup and get a warm up at the end of the first.
The Rams and Bandits exchanged goals in the second setting up a huge third period. And as the third stanza began the Rams stuck with their game plan forcing the Bandits down low and working a strong forecheck. After Thor stood up the Russian Val, the distracted Russian went after Art and left just one defenseman down low. It was the Rams who took advantage, sticking a shot behind the Bandits goalie. With the game tied the Bandits came out swinging as is their custom. But the Rams stuck with the program, knowing the beer would taste better if they just stayed the course. And they were rewarded as Zdaldo picked off a cross ice pass during a Bandits power play and went end to end, burrying a shot under his former teammate.
The Bandits didn’t quit, coming at the Rams with a renewed if misplaced vengeance, they wound up hurting themselves as Val was ejected for ripping the helmet off a turtling Art, who Val had strangely taken to calling Sponge Bob. “I knew I should have been concerned, I’ve heard the stories, but it’s hard to be intimidated by a guy calling you Sponge Bob,” commented a still amused Art. With Val out of the game and a five minute major on the board the Rams were able to ice the game and get onto the oh so important fourth period.

This entry was posted in Game Recaps. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Rams Beat Bandits

  1. Dr. Bumba says:

    That commy bastard does not like to lose.

  2. whoami?answersunday says:

    We should have nuked them all when we had the chance…. More vodka for us

  3. Art says:

    Yes, who are you?

  4. whoami says:

    I also go by the name Red Rocket

  5. Anonymous says:

    Oh you must be a Hosehead. Because when Hosehead licks himself, his red rocket comes out.

  6. is my ass crack that big? says:

    jenkins you coming to the comet on sunday?

  7. Yes, your crack is huge says:

    I don’t know what the comet is but count me in if there are PBR pounders!

Comments are closed.