Trivia Art Headquarters â€“ His head, bald. Arms and legs, withering with atrophy. His heart, sadly, vapid.
It seems Art Etchells has lost his one true love this winter: NHL hockey.
But, despite his heartbreak, heâ€™s found the courage to move ahead. You see, Etchells, sidelined defensemen for the Philadelphia Rams, is not only a stat-master and trivia trickster, heâ€™s the proud owner of the brand new Poop-a-Lounger 2005 Office Suite, pictured here courtesy of Aldo Industries.
“Iâ€™ve been wanting to solve this lockout for the past few years,” Etchells said from Trivia Art Heaquarters in Philadelphia with a trickle of water in the background. “But I never had the time. Iâ€™m too busy with work, maintaining Philadelphia Rams.com, figuring out why the Rams canâ€™t win without me, and ironing my jersey collection. Well, that is till I got the Poop-a-Lounger. I can really make shit happen now. While typing. Calling. Whatever.”
Etchells, who vows to have an agreement ready for the NHL in February added: â€œOh, ah, ummmmph, excuse me,â€ before revealing a few details. “Now Iâ€™m not sure about a luxury tax or salary cap, but I do know this â€” everyone will make more money if the league focuses revenue generation on beer and stripper sales rather than the gate and TV money.”
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