“Man of a Million Jerseys” Credits Poop-a-Lounger for Lockout Plan

Trivia Art Headquarters – His head, bald. Arms and legs, withering with atrophy. His heart, sadly, vapid.
It seems Art Etchells has lost his one true love this winter: NHL hockey.
poopalounger_small.jpgBut, despite his heartbreak, he’s found the courage to move ahead. You see, Etchells, sidelined defensemen for the Philadelphia Rams, is not only a stat-master and trivia trickster, he’s the proud owner of the brand new Poop-a-Lounger 2005 Office Suite, pictured here courtesy of Aldo Industries.
“I’ve been wanting to solve this lockout for the past few years,” Etchells said from Trivia Art Heaquarters in Philadelphia with a trickle of water in the background. “But I never had the time. I’m too busy with work, maintaining Philadelphia Rams.com, figuring out why the Rams can’t win without me, and ironing my jersey collection. Well, that is till I got the Poop-a-Lounger. I can really make shit happen now. While typing. Calling. Whatever.”
Etchells, who vows to have an agreement ready for the NHL in February added: “Oh, ah, ummmmph, excuse me,” before revealing a few details. “Now I’m not sure about a luxury tax or salary cap, but I do know this — everyone will make more money if the league focuses revenue generation on beer and stripper sales rather than the gate and TV money.”

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