NEW YORK â€“ Itâ€™s the holiday season, but sales are down at ALDO in New York City resulting from the companyâ€™s model/owner/one-man-brand named Z-daldo (formerly Aldo).
Analysts at Morgan Stanley have downgraded the retail empireâ€™s stock, mainly because demand has ceased for Aldo merchandise.
â€œI donâ€™t understand,â€ said a dazed and confused Z-daldo from his corporate jet. â€œIâ€™m still me. Iâ€™m still really tall. Really handsome. And itâ€™s still really really really hard to get the puck through my feet. Why wonâ€™t people by my stuff?â€
The reason, cited by passersby on East Broad Street, is simple. â€œAldo is out,â€ surveys say. â€œZ-daldo is in.â€ And right now, sign factories and clothing tag manufactures everywhere are in a frenzy working to add the new â€œZ-dâ€ to store frontage and clothing tags.
â€œI am really worried,â€ added Z-daldo now in his limo rocketing toward Wintersport Ice Arena where heâ€™s a star in the Mens Cup League. â€œOther stores in my empire, mostly Z-dildo which Iâ€™ve named endearingly after my brother, are going to suffer too.â€
Z-dildo sales have always lagged behind those of Z-daldo, but both stores could be in peril sources say on condition of anonymity. Although Z-dildo stock may be rising with his recent performance for little-known Murphyâ€™s.
â€œWhat have I done?â€ wondered Z-daldo aloud.
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